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Writer's pictureTanya Unveiled

Who would your child be now and as an adult without you?

I was watching an old Netflix series called 'Bloodline' the other day and it reminded me exactly why I have a "circle back before I circle up" philosophy when it comes to our Neurodivergent community.



Firstly, and not related to this, when I have a lot going on I like to watch movies or shows I have seen a long time ago, but it's been long enough that I don't remember all of the details. There is a sweet spot that some neurodivergents have with this where our brain feels soothed from the familiarity of the subject line, yet not bored with the content. If your ND loved one is watching the same thing over and over it could be because their brain loves being soothed from the familiarity and predictability of knowing what is coming next... I digress... though hello ADHD my old friend, glad to see you could join the party


So in the show poor old Danny got the bum steer in the family and essentially wasn't protected or had his needs met. He went on to have a life of significant ongoing challenges and substance abuse. The younger siblings essentially did have their needs met and went on to be lawyers, police detectives etc (with of course twists and turns in the storyline).


I feel the same about neurodivergent adults. They have had a significantly more challenging life because they were not protected or had their needs met. They are expected to know and do better without ever being given the knowledge, support or tools how to do so, and most who do get on their feet learn how to do so through their own children.


I am not ashamed to say that my ND son lives a life of privilege. It is how I designed it. He is homeschooled and has access to the best supports and the best education in a way his brain learns and lives a neurodivergent-affirming, safe, low-demand life catering to his sensory profile. Sadly, this is a privileged life when it comes to the neurodivergent community.


The question that made me feel the responsibility to also "circle back" to other less privileged neurodivergents with not just the supports I offer but my empathy, understanding & compassion:


"WHO WOULD YOUR SON BE NOW AND AS AN ADULT WITHOUT YOU? AND WHAT WOULD YOU WANT FOR YOUR SON IF THAT WAS THE CASE?"


So for all of our ND community I, (and now Rob since I circled back for him too), became the person that I believed my son would have needed now and as an adult, if he didn't have me... and today I put it out there for you to ask yourself the same thing and then let your heart crack all the way open so that we can ALL start walking each other home.


Together I truly believe we can.


Lots of love,


- T ♡


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