Cue the pitchforks and the chanting of, "don't take our alcohol away!"... but this is important because YOU are important.
📸 is of a MUCH younger, very intoxicated Tanya
Have you ever asked yourself who you are without your alcohol mask? And for most of the population, it is a mask. Don't believe me? How different are you when you are drinking alcohol to when you are not?
Are you as loud?
Do you dance the same?
Do you make the same decisions?
Can you tolerate the same environments?
Can you have the same conversations?
Are you as relaxed?
Are your sense as dulled?
There are so many quantifying questions but what it comes down to is that if you are different when you drink alcohol, then alcohol is one of your masks.
Fuck it.
When I started the process of unmasking as a Neurodivergent woman, I faced that same, 'fuck it!' moment. Drunk me wasn't who I was authentically - though I don't need alcohol to dance and singly freely in public... drunk me was who I needed to be to participate in neurotypical-dominated social interactions.
Drunk me doesn't have sound sensitivities
Drunk me doesn't have problems having conversations with people I hardly know
Drunk me doesn't mind being in crowds
Drunk me doesn't need to save her spoons after a spoon-hungry day
There are so many ways that drunk me is just a false me, and what a bitch it was to actually admit that without the alcohol, all of those things and more are just not who I am. Nooooooo!!!!
What made it harder? A lot of people liked drunk me... those same people probably don't like authentic me... and it took a lot of courage to remove alcohol from my life 2 years ago regardless.
Do I miss it? Only when I wish I was masking to fit in. I don't miss the poison - as it literally is poison for brain - why we slur our words, lost our inhibitions and have terrible hangovers. These are all signs of poison in our system... but we it is so socially acceptable to drink alcohol that we just forget about that.
No, I am not the fun police when it comes to alcohol - I believe in sovereignty over our own health and body. All adults should make the right decisions for their own health. But... I am passionate about people hiding their authentic selves with alcohol. I don't want you to do that. I want you to love yourself up so much that you let your true self be seen.
It's one less exhausting thing we need to put ourselves through, and you are worthy of doing what may seem a very daunting, hard thing.
Sending big love,
- T ♡
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